I'm scared
So afraid to show I care
Will he think me weak
If I tremble when I speak
Oooh - what if
There's another one he's thinking of
Maybe he's in love
I'd feel like a fool
Life can be so cruel
I don't know what to do


I've been there
With my heart out in my hand
But what you must understand
You can't let the chance
To love him pass you by

Should I

Tell him
Tell him that the sun and moon
Rise in his eyes
Reach out to him
And whisper
Tender words so soft and sweet
Hold him close to feel his heart beat
Love will be the gift you give yourself


Touch him
With the gentleness you feel inside
Your love can't be denied
The truth will set you free
You'll have what's mean to be
All in time you'll see


I love him
Of that much I can be sure
I don't think I could endure
If I let him walk away
When I have so much to say

I'll

Love is light that surely glows
In the hearts of those who know
It's a steady flame that grows
Feed the fire with all the passion you can show
Tonight love will assume its place
This memory time cannot erase
Blind faith will lead love where it has to go

Never let him go

And in your eyes I see ribbons of color
I see us inside of each other
I feel my unconscious merge with yours
And I hear a voice say, "What's his is hers"

I'm falling into you
This dream could come true
And it feels so good falling into you

I was afraid to let you in here
Now I have learned love can't be made in fear
The walls begin to tumble down
And I can't even see the ground

I'm falling into you
This dream could come true
And it feels so good falling into you

Falling like a leaf, falling like a star
Finding a belief, falling where you are

Catch me, don't let me drop!
Love me, don't ever stop!

So close your eyes and let me kiss you
And while you sleep I will miss you

I'm falling into you
This dream could come true
And it feels so good falling into you

Falling like a leaf, falling like a star
Finding a belief, falling where you are

Falling into you
Falling into you
Falling into you

Finally awaken from my slumber sleep. Had dinner out with 2 of close friends, Shuling and Vincent. As usual, my sister would pester to have KFC whenever we meet. I really hope that it's not because I've a KFC ambassador look.

Went to "his" house in the afternoon before heading to meet my friends. We played "his" PS games. "He" is really a true blue gamer. "His" library of games is indescribable! I played one of "his" freaky games, titled something Fatal Shot, where I've to go around capturing ghosts with my camera. I'm a scardy-cat. Hahahaha.... even when playing a ghost game, I screamed as well. No horror movies!!! Wait... hold on... that is subjected to who am I watching it with. >.<>.<

We went to our hangout after leaving Shuling's house. Our hangout has become a drug to me, to us. We visit it almost everytime we're out. The wind, the sand, the waves, the carefree, peaceful and tranquility all merged into one. There "he" gave me another suprise. In all, "he" has given me a total of 3 suprises, which comprises of sight, feel and hearing. All of them which he made them himself.

"He" knew I've been searching for an anklet all this while. And "he" made one himself. It's not easy for "him" to make one, considering that generally guys don't do such stuffs. "He" was worried that I wouldn't like it much. But "he" was wrong. I know the effort "he" put in. To others, the suprise may not worth much. But to me, it's invaluable, priceless. Gifts should not be weighed by the scale of currency, but the thoughts and efforts that are incomparable.

"He" helped me put the anklet on. And it's my favourite colour. We both have each. Mine on my right leg, and "his" on "his" left. Somehow, I feel like we truly belong to each other for whatever we do, things just seem to fit perfectly. We're both binded together by "his" handiwork - the anklet. I'm blessed. Blessed to have "him" in my life, blessed enough to share a phenomenon - a shooting star in the beach with him.

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

I went to catch the movie - The Host, with Joel yesterday. Felt that the movie has lots of depth in it. While watching the movie, I was trying to analyse it. Suddenly occured to me the time where "He" watched the chinese film - The Banquet with me. Both of us were analysing the film together. Such fun. Such vast exchange of knowledge. I was late in meeting Joel thanks to the episode of Shopping spree Part 2.

After the movie, we headed to Crystal Jade La Mian for dinner. I ordered my all time favourite - 酸辣汤拉面. Joel was kinda amazed that I can pretty consume much for my size is inproportional to the food comsumption. We hanged around Suntec City, killing time while waiting for "Him" to pick me up after "his" family dinner. Joel brought me to Esplanade roof terrace, where it was the first time for me. There I could have a clear view of the open space performance by a group of archipellos. They sing pretty good. I'm amazed that they sang one of my favourite chinese song, Kiss Goodbye, by Wang Lee Hom. And they're malays! OMG! I feel so ashamed of my chinese-ness. I seek comfort that I am still able to recognise certain chinese characters, my chinese name and most importantly, being able to distinguish the vulgarities.

"He" finally arrived at 11pm. We headed to our favourite spot. Running in the sand. Swinging each other in circles. The first time I waited for someone for almost 3.5 hours, it was darn worth the wait.

Courtesy of "Him" - 1983

Continuation from Shopping Spree Part 2...

introducing casts:

-shopping spree banker: mother
-shopping spree reciepient: "she"
-shopping spree victim: papa

-scene of Distraught 1: Tiong Bahru Plaza
-scene of Distraught 2: Great World City
-scene of Distraught 3: Home

On a fine saturday afternoon, approximately 12pm, a family of three headed to Tiong Bahru Plaza for lunch. "She" decided to play the role of a filial daughter, by accompanying her mother to shop, since papa was not even a electron interested in shopping.

Stage 1
Mother wanted to get a pair of shoes, dragging "her" to a shoe stall. There was where the start of the war began. The glittering shine of the shoe caught "her" eye, disengaging "her" from her mother's arm. "She" advance slowly, cautiously towards the glare and sucummbed to the temptation... $30 victory to U.R.S. Inc, with mother not purchasing anything at all, but "her".

Stage 2
Both parties advanced to Great World City, with mother intending to buy only a 2 pieces of clothings for "her". The cave was enticing "her", with treasures and jewels surrounding "her". "She" was busy choosing "her" riches, oblivious to the look of horror on mother's face. While only trapped in the horrendous cave, mother suffered a thrashing defeat of $264, with only purchasing 1 blouse for herself while "she"

Stage 3
Mother left "her" to head home by "herself". There "she" had to face the ultimate king - Papa. When he opened the door, his eyes nearly popped out, staring at the amount of carriers she was carrying.

Stage 4
Ending to be decided by audience.

Proudly edited by "Him" (4)

Proudly edited by "Him" (3)

Proudly edited by "Him" (2)

Proudly edited by "Him" (1)

Courtesy of "Him"

Finally I'm home from a shoppaholic day! As I stated below, I skipped my GE today. Quiz is over. And the GE is so freaking boring, listening to oldies. Not classic oldies mind you, but real oldies, southern accent type. In addition the lecturer have something against Jay Chou!!! =.='''

Thus, "he" and I met up after my class. Friday is his "self-acclaimed" no school day. "He" was waiting for me at dobby ghaut. As usual, my heart thumps at a high frequency of 1GHz whenever we arrange to meet. As what "he" describes, whenever his heart beats furiously, mine does too. "Our hearts are talking" - his favourite phrase.

We went to Takashimaya to check out our favourite mooncakes. Like me, "he" prefers snowskin mooncakes. We really have quite alot in common that binds us, yet differences between us that intrigues us about one another. After lunch and mooncakes, we went shopping. All along I've never entertained the thought of shopping. However, shopping doesn't seem to be such a torture to me when I'm with him. It's the company afterall. We have so much laughter and enjoyable moments, peace and tranquility in between us.

"He" bought a shirt from Bosinni. I am beginning to enjoy shopping with him. We have almost similar taste in clothes. After purchasing his t-shirt, we went to do some serious shopping. Looking for a new bag for my old bag *the blue flowery one* is torn pathetically, and also to purchase a shorts that I've been eyeing for quite some time.

"He" really took the "job" seriously. We toured every floor, every single shop in Far East Plaza for a bag. And finally I found the bag that quite caught my eye. And it's the exact same brand as one of his bags. Affinity?

I nearly couldn't have purchased my shorts, if not for his persistant belief in looking for the shorts at the Giodarno branch in Citylink. I finally found the design I've been looking for, as the branch in Orchard as run out of it's stock for that particular design.

Dinner was on him at Pizza Hut. "He" only eats Haiwaiian pizza, which is actually my favourite. After dinner, we went to our 2nd favourite usual hangout place, Esplanade. Our all time favourite spot is where the photo of the full moon was taken. We'll be going there tomorrow. Can't wait for tomorrow to come.


"He" told me that it's about time that I learn to start pampering myself, instead of spluring money on those who don't appreciate what I've done for them. To speak the truth, today is the first time in my 21 years of life where I really feel like I'm on a shopping spree. And it feels great, especially when "he" takes the initiative to carry my new bag full of notes, and my purchases. No one has ever helped to carry my bag before. "He" didn't even mind if it looked "girly" on him. He just didn't want to see me carry heavy items. I'm truly touched. I'm not one who allows any Tom, Dick or Harry to carry my bag and he knows it. Yet I feel thankful that he does it without any wimp or complaint, but it's a pleasure for him instead.

I think I've struck rich. Exactly as what "He" experienced.

Blog maddness on the roll!!! Just finished my DSP quiz not long. Here I am in EEE iHUB with Raymond next to me. He was so suprised to know that I actually have a blog. What's up with the assumption that I don't blog? >.<

Went to school with Raymond and as per always, tons of crappy things to talk about. And the topic of the day today was yours truly.

Raymond commented that he's pretty afraid of me at times, for he said I can be domineering at times. Hmmm... I agree that I can be domineering, but I don't remember being domineering to him. I practise selective memory. >.<

I was also described as an "iron woman". Honestly, Ray's not the first person to use such adjectives on me. He said my character is very much suited in a Man's field - engineering. Thanks Ray. You remind me of Jeffrey Tan's "power suit" feminism. =.='''

I explained to Ray why my character is as such which he described. My mom is the eldest of a total of 4 siblings. She lost my maternal grandmother at a tender age of 13. Thus, she had to undertake the responsibility of an elder sister and a mother. She had to study and work at the same time, to support her siblings and maternal grandmother, for my maternal grandfather remarried and did not pay much attention to my mom, my uncle and aunties. As I was brought up by such a strong woman, it's not suprising to become strong-willed. But sad to say, I've been described as stubborn, ignorant and selfish by some.

I don't bother about what other think of me, be it good or bad. I just know that I love my mom for who is she, and how she brought me up, to stand up tall despite all falls and survive no matter what. Survive for those around you, and for yourself. Nothing's more important than life itself.

Just finished mugging for tomorrow's Digital Signal Processing quiz. Don't think I studied real hard for it, but I got bored from studying for 2 quizzes this week. Well, since I'm able to understand what the lecturer and tutor are saying, I decided to take a gamble and just read through my notes and tutorials.

Introduced Grace to "him" today in msn. They got along pretty well, thanks to the fact both of them are gamers. >.<

Quite happy that they get along pretty fine, for I care for both of them. I mean, it's important to know how to relate to your "partner's" group of friends.

Talking to Shuling at the meantime in msn. She has been quite protective over me after what happened between me and my ex-boyfriend. We're gonna meet up for dinner this coming monday. And she said she expects "him" to pick me up after dinner so that she can scrutinise him in person. She said, "If he cannot even do something so simple to woo a girl, he won't get my approval." I feel so doted suddenly.

To him: You better know how to handle my sister, since you claimed that you're good in handling situations, so my sister should be a piece of cake to you then. *snigger*

To Ling: Way to go for your self-acclaimed acronym LOSL & RG - Lynn Ong Shuling & Rohit Ghale. I'm really elated that you've found your Mr Right. *Muacks*

I've a picture of him right now.
Very tempted to upload in the blog.
Don't know if he'll be unhappy about it.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Should I?
Should I not?

His light shining onto me.

To him:

Je t'aime chéri

une copine

Sharing the beautiful sunset with him.

All the heart-stopping moments always happen only when he's around.

Peace, serenity are the feelings that I get when he's by my side.

No conversation required.
No physical contact required.
Just lying down next to each other on the beach.
Aware of each other's presence.
It's more than enough.

There's no place that I rather be.
But just to be by his side.
Through him, I begin to believe, to see hope and light in the heart.

It all began on the Sept 10, 2006...

He brought me to this breath-taking place, unknown to me, to all.
I didn't believe Singapore has such a beautiful place hidden away.
As usual, he always suprises me with the unknowns.
Never once a moment bore with him, for I'll always be acquiring new knowledge.

This was where he touched me with his sincerity, the heart which he made. *pic below*

Like lighthouse that guides lost ships back to safety, he used his sincerity and heart to lead me back on track. His heart, made of many smalls lights, cut from straws and soaked cotton with fluoroscent liquid captured my heart.

As the saying goes, "We cannot do all great things, but we can do small things with great love."
He's the living example of the saying.

Till the end, sincerity breaks all walls.

Till The End

All these precious moments
With you by my side
Must be a gift from heaven
That’s holding me all night
I don’t know how I found you
I’m thankful that I have
Now that I have a love so true
To hold to keep to share

In my heart I can no longer hold inside
All of the love I used to hide
I'd always be with you until the very end
In this world there is no place I’d rather be
You are my life my soul my girl
And through it all I know you come to see that you’re the one till the end

All my friends around me
Say you’ll be gone too soon
Baby I’m gonna make them see …
We found our way back home

In my heart I can no longer hold inside
All of the love I used to hide
I'd always be with you until the very end
In this world there is no place Id rather be
You are my life my soul my girl
And through it all , I know you’ve come to see that you’re the one till the end


We'll always be....

till the end......

Ladies up in here tonight

No fightin', no fightin'
We got the refugees up in here
No fightin', no fightin'

Shakira, Shakira

I never really knew that she could dance like this
She makes a man want to speak Spanish
Como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa
Shakira, Shakira

Oh baby when you talk like that
You make a woman go mad
So be wise and keep on
Reading the signs of my body

I'm on tonight
You know my hips don't lie
And I'm starting to feel it's right
All the attraction, the tension
Don't you see baby, this is perfection

Hey Girl, I can see your body movin'
And it's driving me crazy
And I didn't have the slightest idea
Until I saw you dancin'

And when you walk up on the dance floor
Nobody cannot ignore the way you move your body, girl
And everything so unexpected - the way you right and left it
So you can keep on shaking it

I never really knew that she could dance like this
She makes a man want to speak Spanish
Como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa
Shakira, Shakira

Oh baby when you talk like that
You make a woman go mad
So be wise and keep on
Reading the signs of my body

And I'm on tonight
You know my hips don't lie
And I am starting to feel you boy
Come on lets go, real slow
Don't you see baby asi es perfecto

Oh I won't deny my hips don't lie
And I am starting to feel it's right
All the attraction, the tension
Don't you see baby, this is perfection
Shakira, Shakira

Oh boy, I can see your body moving
Half animal, half man
I don't, don't really know what I'm doing
But you seem to have a plan
My will and self restraint
Have come to fail now, fail now
See, I am doing what I can, but I can't so you know
That's a bit too hard to explain

Baila en la calle de noche
Baila en la calle del dia

Baila en la calle de noche
Baila en la calle del dia

I never really knew that she could dance like this
She makes a man want to speak Spanish
Como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa
Shakira, Shakira

Oh baby when you talk like that
You know you got me hypnotized
So be wise and keep on
Reading the signs of my body

Senorita, feel the conga, let me see you move like you come from Colombia

Mira en Barranquilla se baila asi, say it!
Mira en Barranquilla se baila asi

Yeah
She's so sexy every man's fantasy a refugee like me back with the Fugees from a 3rd world country
I go back like when 'pac carried crates for Humpty Humpty
I need a whole club dizzy
Why the CIA wanna watch us? [Shakira/Wyclef Jean]
Colombians and Haitians
I ain't guilty, it's a musical transaction
No more do we snatch ropes
Refugees run the seas 'cause we own our own boats

I'm on tonight, my hips don't lie
And I'm starting to feel you boy
Come on let's go, real slow
Baby, like this is perfecto

Oh, you know I won't deny and my hips don't lie
And I am starting to feel it's right
The attraction, the tension
Baby, like this is perfection

No fightin'
No fightin'

Saw some pictures in the paper
Of a girl I'd met the day before.
I couldn't believe that hours later
I had reporters knockin at my door
But I used to dream about 
The life I'm living now and
I didn't think I'd miss those things from the past
And I'm not afraid of leaving
Or letting go of what I had
Cause I realize that now there's no turning back.

Cause (I mean) I'm caught living in a world filled with love
So when tear drops fall from me like rain from above
I can brush my troubles away, know that deep down inside
I got sun shining in my life

I used to think I could get better
My girlfriends always used to get me wrong
Some just sent messages, love letters
But those kinda feelings never lasted long
Cause now the only love I find's within a castle made of sand
And when the tide goes out it's swept away.
Though I got my peace of mind
And time is firmly on my side
And through the battles I can safely say

Cause (I mean) I'm caught living in a world filled with love
So when tear drops fall from me like rain from above
I can brush my troubles away, know that deep down inside
I got sun shining in my life.
I'm caught living in a world filled with love
So when tear drops fall from me like rain from above
I can brush my troubles away, know that deep down inside
I got sun shining in my life.

Tomorrow, May 6, 2006, will determine PAP's fate and the direction which Singapore will be heading for the next 4 years. I have been following the news on the general election progress. The oppostion parties and PAP's rallies. Pity though, I wanted to attend the rallies tonight. But my boyfriend's doing duty... No choice, 4 years later then.

Received my progress package of $800. Splendid! My 21st red packet. Perfect timing. But sadly though, I'm not given a chance to vote in the general election. How I envy those people staying in Hougang area. Lots of rallies and actions going on. Such a pity that my home *under the district of Tanjong Pagar* is under MM. For your information, MM does not mean Mushmom *maplesea*. I nearly fainted when I was talking to one of my guild friends about the general election, I mentioned MM, and he said, Mushmom??? =.='''

Back to the topic, well, in order to contest against MM *minister mentor* Lee Kwan Yew, that guy must be either a filthy rich guy who has too much money to spend on lawsuits and defamation which MM will most probably send him as a greeting letter the very next day of his contestation, or he's a nuthead. Besides reading the newspapers on the general election, I've been watching the polling broadcasts and also interviews with the MM Lee and PM Lee Hsien Long *MM Lee
son*. Honestly speaking, I was quite irritated with MM Lee's interview, because he did not allow the interviewers to posing their questions and he just interrupts countlessly. Daddy said it's his way of showing his authority and standing. Well, that's quite true, considering the fact that he was a lawyer in the past. *That also means most probably I'll end up speaking like him if I'd continued my dream of being a lawyer* GOD!!!!

One of the opposition party, the SDP *Singapore Democratic Party* led by the infamous Dr Chee Soon Juan *if I've spelt his name correctly* and his sister, and their usual tatics, or should I say antics? I'm amazed that SDP still insist on running in the general election. I mean, their party is in such a disarray!!! How can they go for war? They had already been given the famous SEE YOU IN COURT scene, the party has already split in the "Apologise to MM" and the "Fat Hope if you want me to apologise", which now only leaves the Chee siblings. At first it was only 4 of the party members who decided to apologise, but now, all of the party members except the Chee siblings have already apologised to MM in one way or another. I'm totally so turn off by Dr Chee. I don't agree with his ways of contesting. At least learn from Chiam See Tong! Somemore he's given a title of a Dr. Please don't make a fool of yourself anymore.

I quite like Chiam's style of opposition. He gives me the impression that he clearly knows what he's doing, what his consequences of his actions and most importantly, he doesn't not act rashly and throw accusations but does his homework to justify his statements. *He also resembles a little of my late grandfather*. I was quite disappointed that I couldn't vote, but Daddy said, "Crazy. Vote for what? Waste time and need to queue. You think very fun?"

Hmmm... Well, he voted 3 times before! So of course he can say that. He'd his fair share of voting. All I hoped is that the next elected party will consider the issues of increasing tuition fees in tertiary education, transportation in Singapore and increasing living expenditure. I just finished my 2nd year in NTU and I've already had my tuition fee increase twice. The reasons given are better lecturers, equipments blah blah blah... LIAR! I don't see any improvements in the lecturers! My analog electronics lecturer speaks Hokkien during all of hislectures! IS THAT AN IMPROVEMENT? Those students like me who don't understand a single F*CK about Hokkien lose out! And those laboratory sessions, it's the same experiment for the past 3 years! One of my friend's senior told him, we're doing the same experiment he did 2 years ago! WHERE THE HELL IS MY INCREASED IN TUITION FEE GONE TOO? Gone to re-painting NTU buildings? WHAT THE F*CK! Children of rich parents do not have any problems with the increase in fees. But what about students like me who come from less-well-to-do families and they have to sign loans from bank to pay their fees? And how many of Singaporeans are filthy rich?

The elected party also better do something about transportation in Singapore. I went to the May Day concert with my friends, Yongyun and Sufeng. We decided to head to Geylang for supper. When we finished our supper and head to the train station, it was 11.50pm and we've missed the last train. So I'm stucked in Singapore without a train home. Bus? Cab? What if I've missed my last bus as well? I resorted to taking a cab home. Just don't understand why PAP have to restrict the transportation modes. I understand that if SBS don't allow 24 hours service because the drivers have to rest. I also understand if SMRT don't allow 24 hours service because their staff also have to rest. But how about having a 24 hours train auto controlled like the NEL *north east line* train?

Lastly, the living expenditure in Singapore keeps increasing. But I don't see my parents salary increasing. And my parents don't even give me allowance. My monthly allowance is on loan from NTU, which I'll have to pay back when I graduate. Which in turn add another burden to me with the increasing tuition fee. How I wish my surname's Lee, a relative of MM or PM *but not my feminine guy friend Lee Kin Leong, that will be a nightmare*. Increase GST, upgraded lifts and rooms we have to pay for ourselves. I totally agree with Chiam See Tong. Why should we pay for the lifts to stop at every floor? It should be given free! What if there's a block of aged people living, is the party gonna demand them to pay for the lifts to operate at every floor? We pay taxes, pay for CPFs, which is being controlled by the PAP, which they say it's to help us save for our old age. I agree. But what if that person is only left with a few months to leave. Can he not enjoy himself? So many restrictions. Feeling the anger seeping into me...

Am I against the PAP? Am I a supporter of Chiam See Tong? No. I'm neither. I just wished that the elected party of 2006 will help ease some of my problems. Hope I won't see a greeting letter from the police when I submit this blog entry. I repeat, I'm not in favour of any party! JUST GET MY PROBLEMS SOLVED!

Alrighty! Tomorrow's the last paper. Less than 12 hours to go... I'm nervous... YIKESSSSS!!!

3 more to go...

PS: I've got a blog entry which I'm so tempted to blog it now. But time is precious... I'll blog it after my exams... It has some linkage to my buddy's favourite topic, i.e., boobs. BUT IT'S NOTHING OFFENSIVE nor as interesting as his blog entry. So don't expect much.

I know is a tough temptation to u... better be careful and keep focus... just a few weeks more and u can enjoy the 2 months holiday...

Ugghhh!!! I'm resisting the temptation to slack and game. I cannot! Have to study! Exams will be over... I can't wait for exams to be over!!! I'm already in the holiday mood! GOSH!!!! SLAP ME!!!

4 more to go...

Ever wondered how to keep a relationship on-going and to prevent it from becoming stale? I'm a firm believer in engaging my partner in interesting and intellectual stimulating topics, i.e., debatable subjects. However, I realised that not everyone is interested. My boyfriend is fuming now, after I started the conversation on "The Oppression of Women. Does equality really exist?".

Obviously I'm in the proposition party. Duh... My boyfriend doesn't agree with me. That's nothing suprising to me. I mean, which guy will say, "Oh yes! You're right. Women are still being oppressed." I do have guy friends who have views and opinions as I do ( they're in the same humanitities lecture group as me ). So, I'm not forcing my boyfriend to change his view, just that I wish to broaden his perception. Humanities helps one to be aware of the society, culture and life. I'm not saying that everything that humanities teaches us are right. But it enhances our awareness and allows us to see things in different perceptions. I just want to have an interesting conversation with my boyfriend. But it turn out the exact opposite. He was fuming mad and even said, " It's very frustrating talking to you."

I'm not picking on him, nor his viewpoints. I just pointed out to him the loopholes of his argument. Alright. I might have been too carried away with my debate ( I can't help it. I represented my class in college in debating - I'm not being snobbish here alright. I'm just a girl with a very strong sense of desire to debate ).

When we hunged up, I took the initiative to send him a SMS, apologising if I'd in anyway insulted him during our conversation, which he replied that he's angry and he wished that I'd cherish the time spent with him. I sent him another SMS to apologise and said that I'll not start such topics anymore. Which he replied in the fuming tone that he's angry at me not because of the topic but I chose the wrong time to start such a conversation and thus he's late for his class. I was confused because at one point of time, he said that he's frustrated with talking to me, in an unconceding tone. The next point of time, he's mad at me for making him late for class. So which is which?

I started this debatable topic during our conversation because I realised that our conversations are becoming more related to superficial topics. I believe that in a healthy relationship, sometimes the couple must engage themselves to intellectual stimulating conversations so as to keep the relationship alive. To put it bluntly, if I wanted my boyfriend to just talk about superficial topics with me everyday throughout our relationship, I don't see the need to break up with my ex, because he's a very good candidate to a stale relationship with no intellectual challenging topics to converse it. My apologies to those whom I may have offend, but that's my stand. Take it or leave it.

It's the time of the half yearly stressful event. EXAMS!!!! Shucks! I'm so gonna be a goner in like 2 days time!!!! HOW HOW HOW?!??!?! I feel sick, feel stressed, feel stretched out emotionally, physically and mentally. I HATE THAT FEELING OF IMPENDING DOOM!!!! I feel so dead...

Hou Hsiao Hsien's latest film, Three Days, is out! I'm sooooo gonna watch it after my exams! Hopefully it's still screening by then. I'm sooooo excited! I wanna watch!!!!

I'd just finished reading my reading materials for my module - Understanding Chinese Cinema. The reading materials really enlightened me. I finally managed to grasp a little of how a director thinks. Take China's movie director, Zhang Yimou. He uses children in his film to portray the future generation of China. The father is the old generation of China. Though Zhang Yimou's films have been widely appluaded by the West, his homeland however bans his films, for reasons that his films do not portray the "real" China, but the China that satisfies the perceptions of the West.

Taiwan's movie director, Hou Hsiao Hsien, is one of my favourites. I truely believe he is one talented film director. In one of his films, City of Sadness, which highlights the conflict between Taiwan and China, and the February 28, 1947 massacre of an estimated eighteen thousand to twenty-eight thousand native-born Taiwanese. Hou Hsiao Hsien illuminates Jean-Francois Lyotard definition of "history", which states that history is made up of wisps of narratives, stories that one tells, that one hears, that one acts out... City of Sadness depicts the personal narratives of the Lim family and their friends. Tony Leung Chiu-Wai, who plays a deaf-mute in the film portrays Taiwan's voiceless, marginalized existance. What I felt most deep-renching were the sentences uttered by Lim Wenxiong, the eldest son of the family, "We Taiwanese are the most pitiable. First come the Japanese, the come the Chinese. We're eaten by everyone, ridden by everyone, but cared for by no one at all."

The conflicts betweeen Taiwan and China goes way back to the Qing dynasty era. The Qing court gave up Taiwan to Japan after a crushing defeat. Then came 1945, after 50 years of Japanese colonial rule came to an end, and 1949, when Chiang Kai-shek's Nationalist KMT forces established a government-in-exile after the Communist army captured Mainland China. From the KMT perspective, Japan's surrender(WWII) and the end of its occupation of Taiwan were a great victory that "liberated" the Taiwanese from oppression and exploitation and returned them to the "warm embrace of the Chinese motherland." It was to be the start of a new era of peace and prosperity for the Taiwanese people - a sense of hope and expectation for the future that is conveyed in the celebratory opening scences of City of Sadness. Taiwanese jubilation and optimism, however, was short-lived, as the behaviour and attitudes of the Nationlist officials sent to govern the island began to alienate and antagonize the native population.

While the ancestors of those who consider themselves native to Taiwan did come from centuries ago, interaction between the island and the Mainland was in fact extremely limited throughout the 18th and 19th centuries, as the island was virtually ignored by the central Chinese government, which did not hesitate to cede Taiwan to Japan in 1895. The island's sense of separateness and difference was aggravated by its half-century under Japanese rule and again by the Nationalist government's arrogant behaviour when it took over the island from the Japanese in 1945. Chinese officials did not welcome the Taiwanese populance as their own; instead, they adopted the attitude of a conquerer. Nor did the Taiwanese people welcome the new arrivals from the Mainland as their Chinese brothers and sisters ( In the film, Taiwanese often refer to mainlanders using the derisive term Ashande, the one from the mountains ). There are many scenes foreground the multiple levels of translation necessary for Taiwanese and mainlanders to even communicate with each other, an obstacle that clearly raises the potential for mutual understanding between the two groups.

Hou Hsiao Hsien sees his exploration f the past in City of Sadness as a necessary catharsis for the Taiwanese people, without which the tensions and conflicts of society cannot be put to rest. As he said, " I hope that a renewed understanding of 'Two-two-eight' will help everyone to finally cast away its dark shadow and go on living with energy and vitality. What I desire most is for audiences who see my film to leave the theater not only with tears in their eyes, but with a new sense of pride, of empowerment, and with the determination to move towards the future."

Talented director. I admire.